Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Band/Instrument jokes (because, I guess, I really am a band geek at heart)
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?
Q: What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks infront of the skunk.
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Put music infront of him.
A little boy tells his mommy, "I want to be a musician when I grow up!"
His mother replies, "But honey, you know you can't do both."
Q: Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
A: Because they always ran around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
Speilsberg thought of an idea for a action drama about famous musicians played by superstars.
Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwartzenegger all showed up. Speilberg told them to pick what musician they wanted to be as long as they were famous.
"I'll be Mozart because I've always admired his classial music," said Stallone.
"I liked Chopin's piano music and I think I'll play his role," said Bruce.
"I think I'll be Beethoven because he wrote excellent music," Segall said.
Speilburg was excited because he loved this idea. When he asked who Arnold would be, Arnold said, "I'll be Bach".
Why were baritones invented?
Because someone thought the tuba should have a baby.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?
Q: What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks infront of the skunk.
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Put music infront of him.
A little boy tells his mommy, "I want to be a musician when I grow up!"
His mother replies, "But honey, you know you can't do both."
Q: Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
A: Because they always ran around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
Speilsberg thought of an idea for a action drama about famous musicians played by superstars.
Sylvester Stallone, Steven Segall, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwartzenegger all showed up. Speilberg told them to pick what musician they wanted to be as long as they were famous.
"I'll be Mozart because I've always admired his classial music," said Stallone.
"I liked Chopin's piano music and I think I'll play his role," said Bruce.
"I think I'll be Beethoven because he wrote excellent music," Segall said.
Speilburg was excited because he loved this idea. When he asked who Arnold would be, Arnold said, "I'll be Bach".
Why were baritones invented?
Because someone thought the tuba should have a baby.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!
The Ballad of Sorrow and Joy
The Ballad of Sorrow and Joy
-Jake Armerding
Sorrow sits upon a wire
he speaks discreetly to his shadows
I am hungry, I am hungry
Seek me out a pocketful of tears
Breath is short and breath is ragged
all at once you lose your footing
Knowing soon you will go under
drowning in a pocketful of tears
But joy will find you, joy will find you
hold you on one moment longer
Feel his hands upon your shoulders
point you toward the sun
You can put this night behind you
drink of love and drink of laughter
Drown yourself in joy's bright river
till darkness comes again
Come back home, your night is waiting
grinning, spinning threads around you
All your questions, there's no answer
you're drowning in a pocketful of tears
Cry for stop, he keeps on going
poisoning your calm remembrance
Then you hear that safety clicking
clicking in a pocketful of tears
But joy is shining, joy is shining
see him coming round your corner...
-Jake Armerding
Sorrow sits upon a wire
he speaks discreetly to his shadows
I am hungry, I am hungry
Seek me out a pocketful of tears
Breath is short and breath is ragged
all at once you lose your footing
Knowing soon you will go under
drowning in a pocketful of tears
But joy will find you, joy will find you
hold you on one moment longer
Feel his hands upon your shoulders
point you toward the sun
You can put this night behind you
drink of love and drink of laughter
Drown yourself in joy's bright river
till darkness comes again
Come back home, your night is waiting
grinning, spinning threads around you
All your questions, there's no answer
you're drowning in a pocketful of tears
Cry for stop, he keeps on going
poisoning your calm remembrance
Then you hear that safety clicking
clicking in a pocketful of tears
But joy is shining, joy is shining
see him coming round your corner...
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